Some Days I'm Just Tired

Some days it still takes me by surprise that I'm a mom. That God trusts me with these two little people. I mean, my husband at least came into this relationship knowing what he was getting into. And theoretically, he can leave if he wants. But these little people- they are so LITTLE. And trusting. And fragile in every sense. And they are so... very... DEPENDENT. It exhausts me to just think of it all some days.

And I'm already exhausted.

That's the catch. I keep setting these goals and I still, STILL think of myself as just myself. I know what it takes to motivate myself to work out and I totally have it in me to go that far. The problem is that I forget that I am not just myself anymore. Or more accurately, I am a new "myself". Not to get to philosophical here but the truth is that regardless of my strategies and my superstar co-parent-er, I am totally exhausted. I haven't had a day "off" in a very, very long time. It takes as much energy to get both little people to the Y child care as it does to run on the treadmill and as I do so I am watching the clock and worrying about nap time and lunch time and when will Mara want to nurse and what are we going to do this afternoon? I am sustaining myself AND my little girl with the calories I take in and burn off. I can't nap because the second I do I hear a baby crying even if it is only a motorcycle engine down the street.

And these are not complaints (ok, sort of) they are just my reality right now. I'm eventually going to have to embrace this reality and get used to it if I will ever be able to be ok with this new "me". All the planning in the world may still not help me get in a long run if Mara has a growth spurt and doesn't sleep or Oren gets an owie and needs comforting or heaven forbid either one gets really sick. They are the priority right now and sometimes I don't like that a lot. It means that I can't stick to the plan "no matter what". It means even when the spirit is willing I still have to put them first.

But our family is wonderful and I am the Mommy. And somehow this Mommy will become a Mommy Athlete and I will find room for all of it. This is merely a chapter and these goals will help me create space in my new "self" for parts of the old. This weekend I get to run my hundredth mile since giving birth. That seems like a small number and at the same time, HUGE.

Plan B - Better than the First!

Miles Run Today: 2

My original plan was good. A marathon, a century ride and a 5k swim by the end of next summer. But the reality is, I'm still not logging the miles or the work outs that I need to be in order to not a) get injured or b) hate myself while training. I don't really see myself doing too many marathons in my life (this will double the number I've done so far!), so I would prefer to enjoy the journey. The fact that I'm already starting to worry about failure or self-destruction is a very clear indication that I am just not ready.

As of tonight, I'm okay with that. I made the goal, I can change it! And so I shall.

The new goal still incorporates the same distances, but I've pushed out my timeline. The bonus is that I've come up with some races on the calendar that I'm really excited about so this will help me get out the door. I was really only so so about my spring marathon options. While browsing, I discovered there is a brand new marathon and half marathon in Savannah, Georgia. One of my very dear friends lives there. This way I would not only get to spend time with her, but I'd also get to do a marathon somewhere neither Tom nor I have raced before. An additional bonus is that Savannah is a beautiful and flat city which should make it a great race for me. The race is part of the Rock and Roll series of races which are (in my opinion) overpriced, but otherwise this is the PERFECT race for me.

The race falls on November 3rd next year. This means my marathon will be the culmination of a year of training my way back from childbirth, instead of at the start of the warm racing season. In hindsight, this makes a lot more sense to me. I'll have more time to train, obviously. Instead of full marathon training, I'm now planning to sign up for the April Martian Half Marathon here in Michigan and follow that with the May Indianapolis Mini Marathon. The Mini was my first half marathon- my mother and I trained for it together in 2001. We have done it many times. It is a fun, fun race and I haven't done it in years. After completing those two races, I'll focus on biking and swimming and hopefully get in a few triathlons. Then I can start ramping up for the marathon. Mara will be done nursing (or shall we say I will be done nursing Mara) sometime before next July (I hope) so that will make getting out for those long, long runs much easier. As will the extra hours of sunlight.

I'm very happy and excited about this plan. It seems so much more rational and more importantly, POSSIBLE. I just got back from a lovely, "the kids are down, GO!" two mile run in the fluffy snowflakes and I'm feeling very optimistic. Hooray. Merry Christmas to me!

PS. Ha ha on me... a half hour later I realized my parents will not be home in Indianapolis the weekend of the Mini Marathon. So much for easy trip with built in babysitters. Mega bummer! Well, Plan B is still a work in progress, it seems. I'm considering the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati, instead. I've always wanted to do this race, Tom has family & friends there so it will still be a fun family weekend. Just checked and they also have kids events for both Oren AND Mara. Cool!

Back At It!

November just killed me.  I was having so much trouble even finding time to think about running that I considered throwing in the towel on this entire project.  More than once.

Exhale.

We got back from our family reunion in Las Vegas (with two sets of running outfits, totally unused) and had beautiful weather and three grandparents in the house.  Tom literally shoved me out the door last Friday.  I was happy to be moving but totally feel like I'm starting over again (because I am.... ugh).   I ran in the rain on Sunday and felt much more positive.

And then, tonight I somehow found the motivation to go to the Y after dinner even after a full day of kid entertaining and baby bouncing, even after the rain changed to S-N-O-W, even in the dark, even after my husband changed directly into his flannel pants and my mother in law reached for the ice cream.  STILL MADE IT OUT.  Sometimes, I impress myself.

I'm going to call it a do over.  I don't know if I'm still going to make it to ten miles by the end of the year without killing myself but I have to keep going.  Thinking positive!  December, bring it!

Get Moving!

This time of year kills my mojo.  I really want to want to run, really, I do.  But by the time I have the time it is dark and cold and so very unattractive outside.  Theoretically, I could go in the morning.  (Insert sarcastic laughter).  Oh, it is just so hard to find the time and the interest simultaneously!

Ironically, I dislike (very much) running in hot weather so I actually appreciate cold runs (very much).  The problem is only in the getting out there part of the run.  Once I am Out There dressed the part and moving away from home and worries then I am instantly great.  The key is to focus on this fact hard enough to get body changed and Out The Door.

Haven't found the key to that step yet.  And as such, I only ran three times (total!) in the last two weeks.  Sigh.  I know!  I know!  After such a positive post about my fabulous consistency!  I know.

And once you start missing it is so hard to find a place to begin again.  You feel stuck in "I'm behind/I missed workouts/I'm out of shape/HowDoesThisGoAgain?!" place.  Not a fun place.

So.  Easier said than done but back on track I will be.

Step #1:
Longest run of the week will be done at the Y during the week instead of trying to find time on the weekend.  Weekend will be a short run that could be done with dog or kid, weather depending.

Step #2:
Keep fueling!  Halloween candy doesn't count!

Step #3
To bed, already!  Takes way more energy to motivate an exhausted mama than a well slept (minus middle of the night nursing sessions) mama.  Noted.

Will report back next week.  Peace, out.

Another Goal Met!

Dalmation Iron Mommy pushing the little fireman.

Miles Run Today: 3

On Sunday morning, Oren and I completed our first 5k together.  It was my slowest 5k since my first over a decade ago, but it was one of my favorites.  I have to speak for myself and not for him, but it was really fun.  A majority of the runners were dressed up in Halloween costumes, there was a stage where a dance company was performing "Thriller" before the start, and the weather was great for an early morning in late October.  We even managed to get the four of us up and out together before the race so we had Tom and Mara waiting for us at the finish line.

I was not "racing" this race, which was a good thing- it was tough pushing the kiddo!  I did get my wish for a flat course, but forgot to pray for a straight course, too!  There were lots and lots of turns!  Thankfully my little navigator kept me feeling cheerful about them by faithfully pointing out each corner that we were about to go around.  Also, since I'd started out behind most of the runners so as not to get in any serious athlete's way (serious athletes at a Halloween run?  I hope not, but still...) we spent most of the race catching and passing other runners (mostly without strollers), so that was a boost.  Most of all, I just enjoyed having Oren along for the ride (literally) and did my best to keep up my side of the conversation.  He seemed to get a real kick out of all the people and costume watching ("There's a MOOSE!" he said, identifying a woman with a viking hat) and catching the falling leaves in his lap.  He even got to toss a water cup, so he got the real race experience.  I would love to do another race with him, though I think that our time running together is probably pretty much done until spring.  And by then I'll have my choice of running partners as Mara will be old enough to sit in the running stroller!  Now that's some fun to look forward to through the winter!

Finish line (33:05)

Speaking of looking forward- this mommy needs some new goals!  The upcoming holiday season is always a blur.  We're traveling to Las Vegas for a week before Thanksgiving and when we will get back it will be full on holiday madness.  I'm going to combine November and December to give myself a bit more room within which to accomplish my next steps.  Which will be... (drumroll, please) 1. to increase my long run to ten miles (by December 31st) and 2. do hip/leg strengthening exercises two times a week.  These are totally do-able goals but I really need to do them together and really make the exercises part of my routine without fail.  If I can't strengthen up these joints than I'm going to start doing damage and it will totally derail my big goals for next year.  To fit them in I'm going to have to go back to making the YMCA dates with Mara part of our schedule.  We'd gotten out of the habit of going when she started taking more reliable morning naps.  But now that I've kind of figured her out (God, "Ha ha ha ha ha..."), I think I can just wake her up earlier and get that nap in and then go to the Y after she wakes up.  That's what we did today and it seemed to work all right (I say as I start to hear gurgling from upstairs, better type fast!).

I'm also going to have to start preparing better.  Getting the two of us to the Y is still literally a balancing act with our bags (diaper bag for her, workout bag for me) and her in her car seat.  I really need to be better about bringing a drink and a snack, though.  Today I could have done my exercises post-run, but I was so hungry that I had to leave (and drive through Wendy's on the way home... how's that for ironic and self-defeating?) instead.  I'd eaten a substantial breakfast (Cream of Wheat with a spoonful each of peanut butter and strawberry jelly mixed in) and ate a granola bar (Kashi) on the way there, but still ran out of gas.  Working out combined with nursing cranks up the food burning for sure and there is no way to work out through an empty tummy (at least not for me).  I will get some good snacks and start pre-packing my bag so that there is food along regardless of what I ate in the car on the way to my workout.

Little girl is calling so I'm off!  Keep reading & commenting, it really does keep me going!  Thanks, cheerleaders!

Race Week!

Oh boy, time flies when you're following around two kiddos!  We have had an extremely busy month, I think (should I say it out loud?) that I just might be getting the hang of this two kid thing.  It still crushes me when I'm unprepared, but I've definitely figured out that a) we have to keep our schedules full of outings & events and b) how to get us to those outings & events (for the most part).  Getting the dogs walked (we have an extra this month) and the kids fed, dressed, clean & in and out of the car feels like a workout every day.

Amazingly (to me), I still have not missed a single one of my three-times-a-week runs.  Pat on back!  At times I've had to squeeze them in when I wasn't in the mood or would have preferred to do something else (usually nap), but I'm practicing a level of dedication that is mostly new to me.  I still carry the load of guilt my high school band director inspired from begging me to pick something (he recommended practicing my french horn) and do it often and well instead of doing a bunch of things half assed (my words, not his).  I struggle with that to this day.  I've mostly made peace with this part of my nature (I chose well with a liberal arts education).  However, I still find it challenging to focus on just one or two hobbies which leaves me with piles of unfinished projects and goals.  The fact that I've made every single run since mid-August makes me very, very proud.

Of course, the fact that my runs are still relatively short makes it a lot easier.  It is much simpler to get out the door when I remind myself that I'll be back in less than a half hour than it is when I know it will be more than an hour.  The prep for such a short run is a lot faster, too.  For my longer runs I'll need to eat appropriately beforehand, gather food for during and after my run, make sure my garmin & mp3 player are charged, pack a towel and a change of clothing, go drive somewhere and then drive all the way home after.  That takes a much larger part of my day so it will be difficult to impossible to be spontaneous in my use of "oh hey, two kids asleep.... Mommy time!" time.  But I'm not going to worry about that yet (ah, really... nope, no I'm not).

So I've stayed on track and I have race number two this coming weekend!  I feel ready for it.  I'm running a Halloween 5k and will not only be running in costume, but also pushing my two year old (also in costume!).  I have completed several two mile runs pushing him in the last few weeks.  It has definitely gotten easier, though that is qualified by the weather (windy = TOUGH).  I'm praying for a flat race course!

The last two weekends I've also increased my longest run to four miles.  I enjoyed both four mile runs immensely.  My route takes me from my house over a mile of dirt road with some beautiful fall foliage and rolling hills.  With a four mile run I get to finally start feeling like A Runner, and not just a casual jogger.  That is a personal distinction for me, I'm sure it is different for everyone.  Maybe there's no difference for you- but once I get to do my four mile route I feel that I'm out there for more than just exercise.  Once I hit that mile of dirt road in the middle of the run I feel more relaxed, more focused, and more comfortable with my movement.  I'm not working as hard but probably running faster (without noticing or pushing).  It is my form of Zen.  It is when I get some of my best thinking done or when I'm able to really listen and not think at all.  This is why I run!  I don't get to this place with shorter runs, so I'm thrilled to be just scratching the surface of my Happy Place.

I will be celebrating another milestone as I cross the finish line on Sunday.  One more month of training done and I am a stronger woman and a better mother for it.  Thanks for cheering!

Iron Mommy (& Daddy) Tag Team: A One Act Play

Miles Run Today: 2 (with Toddler)


This is how it went here this afternoon:

I woke Oren from a super iron toddler nap and avoided the post-nap crankies (his not mine) with the incentive of "eating rabbits" (Amy's brand bunny graham crackers) in the jogger while going running with mommy, and then coming home to do our "exercises".  He quickly (relatively) allowed me to change his diaper and get him and I our respective drinks.  He obediently let me put him into the jogger and proceeded to eat his bunnies as we took off.

I ran two miles from our house down the street, around the corner ("That a big truck, Mommy?" "Yep (breathe), it is (breathe) Oren!", past the high school ("There's (breathe) the band (breathe) Oren!" "Those the drums, Mommy?" "Yep! (breathe)", up a very slight (but tough!) hill "That a flower store, Mommy?" "Yep (huff!)!", and back through our neighborhood ("More rabbits, Mommy..."). No teasing from my little man this time.

Jogged up the driveway and stretched a bit.

Saw my husband standing in the back door with baby girl.  "Oren, do you want to run with Daddy?" "Yeah...".  Stretched more while husband went to change.

"Tag" as husband emerged and took over the jogging stroller and toddler conversation.

Went back inside and found baby daughter lying on her back on our bed sucking on both fists, totally content.  Got closer and quickly discovered husband had left me a baby with a full poopy diaper.  Gasped as I realized there's a poopy infant lying on top of our one week old almost three hundred dollar white down comforter that isn't in its cover yet and then breathe as I see she didn't leak.  Lucky, lucky husband.

Change baby.

Baby is still happy so run downstairs to grab bouncy seat to bring upstairs into bathroom.  SHOWER while thanking my lucky stars that Number Two (baby girl) is now mellow enough to finally oblige me this time saving move (one which Number One was cool with from the start...).  Dry self, nurse baby girl, wait for guys to come home.  Entertain toddler while Daddy showers.

Take off with baby girl and dog for a walk.

The important part?  Two very little, unpredictable people.  Two adults who like to run.  Two adults got to run in same afternoon.  Priceless.

Inspiration Everywhere

My daughter Mara has been a better night time sleeper than my son was at this age, but that disappeared this weekend.  We're not sure if it was her cold or the fact that she's starting to roll or that she has almost figured out how to suck on a finger or thumb (yet to be determined which one) and is instead poking herself in the eyes and nose.  Maybe it was all of that or perhaps she was just bored.  Who knows what the problem was but she was waking up much more often and by yesterday afternoon I was completely exhausted.  When my chance to run came I was totally uninterested.  I hadn't showered in three days and desperately wanted another chance at a nap.  Add to that the fact that it was the run I was supposed to practice pushing Oren and it was very windy outside- not a good time to be pushing anything much less a jogging stroller that acts as a giant wind scoop.  But after only minimal nudging from my encouraging husband I sucked it up and changed clothing.  It was beautiful outside so at least I had that incentive.

But then- my training buddy bailed on me!  I tried to get him upstairs to put shoes and a jacket on so we could go but NO dice.  Let's go running!  Running with Mommy?  Please?  NO!  How demoralizing that after two years of not showing the kid any TV, yesterday I lost out to Thomas the Train Engine.  Granted, he was watching from his daddy's lap and it is still a new treat but still.  Talk about Wind Out Of Sails.

Sigh.

It took me a long time to get into the run- as previously pointed out I was tired but now I was also a touch bitter at Thomas (the train, not my husband who happens to share the name).  As I headed out into the wind I was feeling very discouraged.  It was the first time in this cycle of training that I felt those nasty seeds of doubt begin to grow in the back of my mind.  Several friends of mine were out running marathons and half marathons yesterday.  How could I really get back there if heading out for a few miles was taking this much work?  How am I going to find time for those really, really long runs next spring?  Do I really think my knees are going to hold up for a full marathon and what is the point of trying if they won't?

I was only going to run a mile or so with my son but since I was on my own I decided to run three miles.  Thankfully, it was really, really beautiful outside despite the gusty wind.  By the time I got a mile into the run I pushed myself to do the hilly (but even prettier) route instead of the flatter (but relatively boring) route.  Luckily the wind was blowing at my back on the way home and by the time I rounded the corner on the homestretch I realized that I was a) setting a nice pace b) not thinking about running and c) happy.

And then my dear girl fought going to bed but slept like a rock and I finally felt recharged this morning.  We had a very fun morning getting her photo taken.  When I came home there was a fantastic surprise- a gift from a dear friend of a "Full of Awesome" T-shirt!  (see several posts below if that phrase doesn't ring a bell).  How Cool!  Ms. D, you have no idea how well you timed that.  I can't wait to wear my new shirt to bed and wake up to nurse my daughter with "FULL OF AWESOME" across my chest.  And to think that though we haven't spoken in months or seen each other in (choke) years, she knew exactly what would make me smile.  Not only that, but the sweet card enclosed with the gift noted that she found ME inspiring!  Melting.... and with that, my heart soared and Mara and I zoomed around the neighborhood with the dog thinking and being inspired...

... by my great-grandmother (Mary) and grandmother (Marion) who bowled regularly into their eighties (I'm sure my Grandma could still kick my butt on the lanes, too!).

... by my mom (Linda Marie) who started running at fifty something and at almost sixty something is still grooving and a triathlete!  (Mara is named after these three inspiring women, so she enjoyed hearing about that).

... by my neighbor who takes off running with her two girls and when I cheered her on simply shrugged and said, "How else am I going to get it in?".

... by my rockstar friend Kelly who just finished yet another marathon in memory of her mom.

... by my friend Jaclyn who is running mega miles in spite of having seriously screwed up feet and ankles (and two little boys).

... by my sister in law who is caring for two little ones under 18 months old (a 3 month old and a 16 month old, yikes!) while my brother is out to sea as a U.S. Coast Guard Officer for three months (he left when my nephew was only three weeks old)!

and most of all by the thought of my little boy and girl growing up with a healthy, active, athletic mommy who can set high, scary goals for herself and manage to set aside time and find spare energy to work on them.

I've got to keep going!

Pushing Uphill

Miles Run Today: 1.5 (with toddler in stroller)

Our BOB Ironman running stroller (pictured in the sidebar) weighs at least 23 pounds (those are the specifications for the current version which looks much updated from ours and probably means lighter).  My "little" man Oren weighs at least 32 pounds, per his two year well check which was over three months ago.  That means, when I push him around the block I am running with an additional fifty five pounds!  That is just a little (not admitting how little...) less than half my current weight.  Now I know that my dear friend Jaclyn (not me, the other one sillies...) runs with two boys with a double BOB stroller which means she's pushing well over eighty pounds.  But she's got a much higher tolerance for tough and for pain than I do as evidenced by her much more grueling pregnancies and willingness to do it all over again (the woman is nutso- I love her!).

Back to Oren and I.  This is tough.  Really tough.  Today I found myself pushing him up a slow rise in our neighborhood.  I was starting to feel very winded.  I could hear myself breathing.  And then I heard my son, that cute little toddler riding along with his legs criss crossed in front of him watching the yards pass by, ask, "Mommy walking?".  As in... Mommy, are you running yet?

This is fun, this is fun, this is fun, this is fun....

This is WORK!

A New Race, A New Iron Mommy Challenge

I've reviewed, reflected and consulted my running husband.  We both want to register for a Halloween run and there happens to be two local events on separate weekends this year.  This offers the perfect opportunity for each of us to do a run while the other wrangles kiddos... allowing us to have our own cheering section/support team.

I'm excited to register for another event though I am still conflicted about distance.  I would really like to start cranking up the miles.  Unfortunately, I'm scared to screw up my knee and it definitely still feels really wobbly.  Instead of adding miles, I've decided to register for the 5k and push my two year old son!  I took the later of the two weekends, so my next race (the Plymouth Wicked Halloween Run) will be on Sunday, October 30.  My husband thinks this is a challenge equal to adding the miles for a 10k, but I think this will be a little more fun.  It is also very Project Iron Mommy appropriate.  I'm very excited to have Oren start seeing his mommy as an athlete as he already sees his Daddy.  He likes to point to runners when we see them outside and then talk about running with his Dad.  I haven't run more than twice with Oren and I know he loves getting pushed with his Daddy.  It will be particularly fun to do a Halloween run together.  We ran together as a threesome on Halloween last year but since Mara is too little to ride in the stroller, we'll divide and conquer!

Now I just have to find some time to start training with my little guy.  This should be interesting.  I'm now accepting all suggestions for our (easy to assemble!) Mommy/Son (Runner/Rider) Halloween costume!

Mini Goal- 5k- Complete!

Miles Run Today: 2

Life has gotten busy recently so I haven't been able to write much.  The good news is that I have managed to keep running.  And the even better news is that last Sunday I reached my first distance goal, a 5k, and enjoyed it very much.

Saturday afternoon I had actually begun to panic a bit when I confirmed the race start time (8:00 in the morning) and began calculating what time I would need to wake up in order to change, eat, feed Mara, drive to the Zoo (where the race started), pick up my race packet, and warm up.  My husband spoke the words that were in the back of my head, "Well, you picked this race so that if you could not make it it would still be a worthwhile donation...", giving me an easy escape route.  I quickly asserted that I would still run, I had to run the race, I just needed to make it work.  This was all just so much easier without kids!  (And therein lies the plot...)

I set my alarm for 6:25 on Sunday morning with my clothes (a couple of options), shoes, post race clothing (in case the family met me for fun in the zoo afterwards), hat, wallet, and keys all ready to go on the couch and kitchen table.  My plan was to wake up, dress, eat, and at the very last minute I would feed Mara, hand her to Tom and race out the door (pun intended!).  I went to bed early, more anxious about all the logistics than the actual run.

Sunday morning I woke up at 3:00 and thought it surprisingly pleasant that Mara had not woken up to eat.  I woke up at 4:00 thinking that if she didn't wake soon then she might not be ready to eat when I needed her to at 7:00.  I woke up at 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, and 6 ish... all to no sounds of Mara!  How wonderful, my daughter slept all night!  But I was now more than a little uncomfortable from not nursing her and my plans were a bit skewed.  I got out of bed when my alarm went off and spent extra time pumping milk for Mara so I would be less full.  Then I went up and half dressed, but couldn't get completely dressed because I still needed to wake her up to nurse.  I was so uncomfortable from going all night that I didn't even want to deal with my tops yet.  So, a little earlier than planned, I tiptoed into Mara's room.  She was still sleeping as I gently lifted her out of bed and fed her and remained out cold as I put her back into her bed and tiptoed back out.  Amazing.

With a few words to a still sleeping husband and a minute in the living room to finish dressing, I grabbed hot water in a travel mug and a granola bar and ran to the car.  I was mostly on time.

Once on the road I relaxed.  I had escaped and could now just go enjoy the race!  There was quite a bit of congestion getting into the zoo parking lot, but I figured that even if I missed the race start I could follow the walkers and slower runners.  I parked, ran to the packet pick up and back to my car (my warm up) and then lined up in front of the start at 7:56, just in time for an impressive singing of the national anthem.

And then we were off!  It was a beautiful morning for a run- the sky was clear and bright and it was a very comfortable temperature.  I had dressed a little too warmly (I know better, but hate to be cold at the start) and had my extra layer tied around my waist.  I love the people watching at races- trying to imagine everyone's stories and experiences.  It was bittersweet noticing the race shirts from my favorite races that I missed in the last calendar year.

But I'm back!  At the first mile marker I noticed I'd run a 9 something mile.  In my short training runs, I've been running somewhere between 10:30/11 minute miles so I really needed to slow down.  I let everyone run past.  The course was really pretty- through a lovely neighborhood with beautiful old houses and thoughtful gardens and yards.  At the second mile, I was at 18 minutes... so I hadn't managed to slow down.  Oh well, I figured and just wanted to keep it up.  The final mile was a bit less pretty and we had to run uphill and on old, concrete sidewalk.  If there was a tough part of the race, this was it.  But sooner than I was ready for, there was a turn into the zoo.  Lots of spectators lined the finish chute and I ran it in with a proud grin.  I was more than satisfied with my finish time of 28:40 which is only three and a half minutes slower than my fastest 5k time.  Not bad, Mama!

My only regret is that I had texted Tom that the parking lots were full (because they were) so that he wouldn't bring the kids down.  He followed my advice and I was really sad to see so many other kids there without having my own to celebrate with me.  Next time, we'll do it as a group!

Speaking of next time- I am now reflecting and re-evaluating.  I was considering doing a 10k for Halloween, but I still haven't made my knee/hip exercises a part of my routine and I'm concerned about pushing farther without them.  I'll decide what my next goal is in the next week.

Thanks for cheerleading, keep it coming!

Wake Up Full of Awesome!

I love this post so much I'm going to share it here.
Read it if you have a couple extra seconds.  I'm off to go reclaim my awesome...

One Year Ago!

Miles Run Today: 3


My facebook status last year on this date was that I had "biked 955.17 miles, run 533.7 miles, and swum 91088.08 yards since January. Ready or not, here I come! Cedar Point Rev3 or bust!".  That feels like a different lifetime.  Not in an entirely bad way, but it just feels very far removed from my current day to day reality.


Last year my entire summer was focused on training, training, training.  It often felt like a part time job.  A mostly fun job that I didn't make any money at (and was actually spending a lot of money ON), but the effort I was putting into planning my training, training, and reflecting on my training (not to mention recovering from my training!) was tremendous.  


This year, my entire summer was focused on my children.  And it feels like a full time job... and I'm definitely not making any money at it!  Today as I got back on the road after my run I was surprised to realize I hadn't thought of either kid for the entire hour I had been gone.  I was even more surprised at how GOOD that felt.  I have been breathing baby & toddler spirit twenty-four hours a day around here (literally), and am starting to feel very burnt out.  I wish I could find more time to myself.  


So my run today, though it didn't make me feel anything like the athlete I was this time last year, was still so needed and so wonderful.  I went out on my favorite trail again and just breathed as evenly as I could.  The first mile was tough and the last mile was tough, but that middle mile was pure bliss.  No deer sightings, but today I got divine inspiration in the form of a lady cardinal (my high school mascot) and the multitude of cheery butterflies (my son's only word in Japanese).  It was very peaceful. 


I'm so close to my 5k next weekend that I'm getting eager to race again.  For comparison and inspiration, I'll share my race report from a year ago.  Let me warn you, it is incredibly long.  But, you don't do a half ironman triathlon and summarize the experience in a paragraph.  At least, I don't. 

Ready to Go!

From September 12, 2010:

Pre-race routine:

Where to begin? This is super long so feel free to skip to the Event Warmup, but this was definitely a crazy pre-race day for me.

I'd wanted to come down Friday night and crash with my parents at their RV so I could be on site first thing on Saturday but in the end never mentioned this to Tom. Instead I got an additional night sleep in my own bed and woke, walked dog, fed boy and hopped in my pre-packed car for the drive to CP (leaving Tom & Oren to head down over Oren's lunch time nap). The drive would've been straight forward but my Garmin got creative once we got to Sandusky. The drive to Sawmill Creek for the course preview had been super easy so I was so frustrated that the last leg of Saturday's drive ended up totally messed up. I was sooooo frazzled when I got to the hotel FINALLY! I immediately called Kimm who told me to get back in my car and go to transition and bike drop off which I "should've seen!!". The conversation was ridiculous and I was getting increasingly stressed when I thankfully saw Andrea/Traveljini. I let Kimm get back to it and then Traveljini talked me into *riding* our bikes to transition. So back to my car, got my bike out, put the wheel on and decided I ought to pump the tires so I wouldn't have to worry about lugging my pump to transition. Noticed my front stem was a little crooked. Sure enough, when I popped the pump head off it snapped right off and voila!, a flat tire. All I could do was laugh. Guess I wasn't riding to transition!!

I packed my bike off and Andrea said I could follow her. We set out, me in the car and her on her bike- well not even half way there she got busted by the CP folks for riding in the park. Ooops. I continued on but couldn't find the tents. I pulled over into one of the parking lots and called Kimm again. Kimm couldn't figure out what my problem was and told me to head back to the hotel. Gah! Headed back to the hotel and watched the MI BT underwear run. I was way too frazzled to enjoy it.

We had our Racing Greyhounds pre-race run at TGIFridays at the Hotel Breakers and thankfully my parents arrived in time to join us. Lovely run and I was settled down a bit to be there, be with my teammates and parents and my dad assured me he'd go with me to find transition.

After lunch I'd checked in so I left my mom in our room to wait for Tom and Oren to arrive and Dad and I took off for my 3rd try at finding transition. We still floundered a bit and finally, THANK GOD, found it.

Checked in and got my number, my cool Rev3 shirt and visor, and got my tube changed by one of the bike tech people. I did not want to deal with it considering how stressed I already was. I was so very thankful that I'd busted it the day BEFORE the race. Stopped by the Trakkers table just to confirm there were no trakker devices and was told that no, sorry there are not but you can have a visor. Cool- Two brand new headsweats visors in 5 minutes! :) :) Still a bummer about the trakker devices though, my family would've loved to try them out.

I was *starting* to feel better and wheeled my bike into transition, admired the AWESOME set up and my very awesome easy to find spot right in the front, the 2nd rack back. Headed back to the hotel and onto the beach with my mom and my son. I had called the hotel to ask if we could walk from the hotel to the transition and the guy told me no. As I looked at the beach and tried to work out the details for pre-race... I was getting more and more confused. There was literally steam coming out of my ears trying to figure out if we were supposed to drive to transition and then back to the hotel or wha...??? My mom was getting worried about me.

Thank God for Trish M & Traveljini, both of whom I reached by cell phone and they explained that yes, we could and would walk and it would all be FINE. :) I was so so so exhuasted by all the stress and confusion and getting lost that at this point I just left my mom with Oren on the beach and went back to my room to unpack and put my feet up. UGH. I was feeling a bit better by the time they came and got me for dinner.

But then! We tried to go to Perkins for dinner and there was NO pasta and NO service. We walked from our table and headed to TGIFridays but when we got there (me lugging Oren on my hip), there was a 35 min. wait and Oren was already tired and fussy. We walked all the way back to Perkins (btw, Hotel Breakers was massive!) and no one had touched our table so we just decided to have breakfast. First time I did pancakes and eggs to carbo load but it was quite tasty! :) By this time the skies had opened up and I was anxious about my bike getting totally soaked. I knew it would be fine but at the same time... Suzy has never been in the rain and I'd never ridden on my bike wet!

Skip to bedtime- I was exhausted and went to bed early but unfortunately Oren woke us up around midnight coughing. He's got a cold and is teething and I was awake until 2 am getting more and more anxious. Tom tried to tell me to "just go to sleep" but of course the more irritated I got the less I could relax. I kept thinking what a disaster the entire day had been and how STUPID I'd been to do a huge race with a toddler in my room. Woke at 5:30 before my alarm and decided to get up early so that the alarm didn't wake Oren (again). Ugh... felt sooooo sleepy.

Got dressed, did the potty thing and then went to grab my breakfast. For once I'd remembered my instant oatmeal and we'd popped for a suite so that I'd have space to use kitchen without waking kiddo and Tom up. I even had access to milk since we had it for Oren. Unfortunately, the kitchen was only supplied with styrofoam cups. So.... no microwaving and no spoons. @#$%. I ended up having my oatmeal made with water and drinking it with a stir stick. Fab.... ;)

That taken care of I got in my car and drove to transition so my car would be there for post-race bike transport. Got to transition and took my time laying everything out. It was dark, dark. The ladies around me were really friendly which was nice. My elbow pads were positively juicy but there was nothing to be done. Next time, I'll take them off when I take the computer off. :)

After I was done, I found Kimm and KL and we walked up the beach where we met Trixie and Smoak and waited to watch the pros and the Full athletes start. SO. COOL. I was pumped. We still had tons of time so I went back up to my room... it was that or stand around in the chilly breeze. Of course, I wasn't sure how hard to knock and with the suite set up Tom couldn't hear me so I stood in the hall just knocking and knocking... Oh boy. Finally got in and was just in time to change a poopy diaper. For some reason, changing my son's pants as I was dressed and ready for one of the biggest athletic events in my life really brought it all home for me. I was finally happy and ready. Was so glad to spend a little time with my guys pre-race. We went together downstairs and I climbed into my wetsuit as I waited for them to grab some breakfast and then we went out to the beach.

Event warmup:

Pushed Oren down the beach in the BOB till I realized what I was doing and let/made Tom take over. ;) Took some photos and then suddenly freaked because they announced there were 5 min. before the first wave left. Ran into the water to pee and heard them give a 2 min. warning. EEK! Ran back out of the water and hung out with Tom & my teammates until it was Time. Saw my mom and dad about 30 seconds before we left. :)

   Swim

Comments:

The lake was shallow for a while and for some reason I did a bit of dolphin diving even though I've never done it before even in practice. It worked but totally jacked my HR up so that when I started swimming I suddenly couldn't breathe. I was kind of panicked so I just stood up and walked a few more steps before starting to swim again. It still took me a bit to settle down so I just swam with my head up for maybe 30 seconds. Then I was fine. The rest of the swim was great. The water was definitely choppy in spots but nothing awful. I felt lots of grabs at my feet and wasn't sure if it was different people or the same but a couple times I was getting a bit annoyed! I didn't see many other women after the first buoy and that is always encouraging.

By the second buoy I was in my fishy zone and having a good ole time. I love swimming! I was flying by all the guys and having no issues at all even though I felt like a speed boat when they are slapping up and down across waves "whap! whap! whap!" with the waves. I got *really* excited when I could clearly see the shore. The temp got much colder as we got into the shallow water. I swam until my fingers touched and then stood and started taking off my suit. I'm such an idiot about getting out of my wetsuit that I wanted to take it off in the water so I wouldn't fall over or cramp up. Too bad I decided to do this sitting down in water that was still a little deep... as I tried to get my feet out the rest of me was starting to float away. This took SOOOOoooo long. I have no idea how many places/minutes I lost to wetsuit removal. What a nerd.

What would you do differently?:

Practice getting out of my wetsuit. I'm also going to strongly consider hacking off some of the calf of the wetsuit. I'm short anyway.

T1

Comments:

Ran up the beach path and saw my parents first with their bright yellow t-shirts. Then saw Tom with Oren up on his shoulders. Tom bent over so I could give Oren an air kiss... that was sweet. Continued up the path to transition and was really happy to see they had plastic tubs with water to get the sand off. Went in first and second to rinse then off to my bike. They had carpet mats to follow too. Transition area was so nice! Helmet, sunglasses, bike shoes, and then I spent a bunch of time putting on my homemade arm warmers (knee highs from Target) even though I didn't feel cold. I just pulled them over my hands and stretched them out a bit so they wouldn't be bunched and figured I could do the rest on the bike. I'd never practiced with them (because it had always been HOT) and hadn't thought about how tricky this would be with wet arms.

Headed all the way through transition and out the bike out to the mount line, jogged past a biker and over to the side and that's where I slid on my cleats and fell over onto my bike. GAH!! Every one standing their gasped. I popped right up going "I'm ok! I'm ok!" and just felt like a big idiot. As I was getting up I saw my Dad approach with the camera and I asked, "Please tell me you didn't get that on film??". Thankfully he hadn't but asked if I was ok. I said I was fine and took off. Immediately got back off because my brakes were dragging. He shouted again and I assured him I was ok. Post race I saw I ended up with polka dots on my back side where I must've gotten my gearing right in the butt. I can't explain it, but just thankful that I really was ok.

What would you do differently?:

Not bother with the arm warmers as it wasn't really that cold. NOT SLIP!!!! SUNSCREEN.

   Bike

Comments:

Within the first 2-3 miles I had to pull over and get off my bike 2 or 3 times because things felt funny after tipping over. Finally got my brakes centered correctly and got going and was so relieved when I started spinning away to no funny noises. I was pretty excited to be on my bike. I almost didn't sign up for this event because I'm such a non-biker. Thankfully, Coach Kellie really pushed my mileage on the road this summer and I've gained a ton of confidence. I knew after four 60+ mile rides that I was more than capable of completing this ride. Since I'd done the course preview I recognized most of the course and that really helped eliminate my intimidation.

I was really happy for this entire ride, nothing much phased me. I spent the first 30 miles being passed by everyone- that's what happens to us fast swimmer/slow biker types, unfortunately. First Mike W. and then Mike W. again (he'd stopped to use the porta john), then Trish M, then Kimm and finally Dave. It was cool because I got friendly cheers from not just my teammates but two people from other local teams too. Kudos to our Racing Greyhounds team for being the team everyone else is friends with!! But I was super cheery and wished everyone a great day and really meant it. I was out there just people watching and it was really fun! I watched my pacing and did NOT "eat the paste". I nailed all my nutrition and was drinking more than enough. By mile 20 I needed to pee and stopped at the rest stop for that and to refill my water. There were a fair number of folks out cheering from their driveways and a bunch in the little town at the turn around. I had a ton of fun on the hills going up and down. One of the advantages of having done the course before was that I was prepared for the one tricky up hill on the course- you come down this nice, fun descent and right at the bottom you have to slow down to make a 90 right turn and then go immediately up a short/steep hill into a residential area. I was ready for it and carried some speed around the corner so I could get up- the guy in front of me wasn't in the right gear though and as he tried to climb up his chain popped up.  Poor guy.

The ride was totally enjoyable until about mile 30-35ish about when we joined back up with the Full course past their Special needs. By that time the riders had gotten pretty sparse and there wasn't a lot of distraction. We were on newly chip sealed roads and that was tough. The wind had picked up and that was tough. We were going up up up and that was tough. My legs felt fine but things were definitely a little less fun and a lot more work. And I had to pee and there seemed to be no more rest stops. There weren't as many people out on this part of the course so I decided to pretend that even the political signage was for us and our race. :) When it got tougher I decided that even the spray paint on the road from previous construction projects was for us and our race! What a loony.

I kept on keeping on and just couldn't believe how quickly we suddenly seemed to be heading back to town. I actually regretted the fact that it seemed my HIM bike was almost over. I recalled a rest stop as we come back into town near the high school and stopped there for the potty so I wouldn't have to deal with it in transition. A volunteer even grabbed my bike and turned it around for me, which was really nice. The final stretch back into Cedar Point took For-Ev-er. For real. And then I got passed by the motorcycle and the pros... whizzzzzzzzzz!. Right after that I passed another biker and told him, "On your left... and I'm not a pro!" just so he knew it would take longer for me to pass.

Finally got back to transition, what felt like one of the last ones in. Oh well, working on bike speed another season. :) I've come a long way and have no regrets with this bike. I stopped to pee twice so my actually riding mph was a higher and during my last few miles my bike computer read 17.1 for average which is awesome for me.

What would you do differently?:

Maybe drink less? But I'd rather err on the side of too much and I'm not peeing on my bike. I had first and second half of margarita Cliff shots and 2 gus- I was ready for another towards the end but followed my Coach's wisdom and decided to wait for the run.

T2

Comments:

I didn't run through transition with my bike, given the sliding with the cleats thing. Just walked fast and got my bike racked. There were wetsuits everywhere and I was all, "what jerks!". After the race, I learned one of the suits was actually mine but had blown in the wind so felt a bit sheepish.

Took off bike stuff, put on socks & shoes. Grabbed bib belt, visor and garmin and put them on on the run. Kimm came running back in while I was coming in and had forgotten something so I was looking forward to catching back up to her on the run. Started my Garmin right away but hadn't turned it on in the room so it was stuck on "searching" for the first minute or two. Hate that!

What would you do differently?:

Turn my Garmin on the night before so it can get its act together. SUNSCREEN.

   Run

Me approaching the finish line (Photo thanks to Dad)

Comments:

This was a great run and I was in a great mood because I knew now that I was back on my feet I was going to finish. I wasn't sure how painful it was going to be and whether my knee would give out, but regardless I was going to finish. My Garmin read 8:33 min/miles when it finally started and I immediately put on the brakes. I couldn't quite get to 10:30s that I thought I should be at but tried to force myself to slow down at least to over 9:45s. I stopped at every mile marker. I carried my own Cytomax as I hadn't trained with the CeraSport. I was one of the few who did- there were lots of stuff offered often but I'm glad I decided to stick with what I did on my training runs. I took water and a banana at the first stop but after that just did my drink at the mile markers and just got water when I needed it. The miles ticked off pretty quickly. That said this was one BORING, lonely run. I've run a ton of half-marathons and this was nothing to write home about. I really felt bad for the full athletes to have to go out there and run the entire course again. Sandusky was just empty and there was nothing interesting out there! That and I was starting to crisp up and there was NO shade at all.

That said, as each mile passed I was feeling stronger and stronger and my mood kept improving as I got closer and closer. I kept talking to everyone but was getting much less of a response. I passed Mike W., the 3rd time I'd seen him. Unfortunately his stomach was upset. AFter mile 6 I let my pace creep closer to 9:30 and after mile 10 I decided not to worry about it. I stopped to pee again at mile 8ish. It was so quiet out there- hardly any spectators at all. In the last 4 miles I got passed by the pros on their way back to CP, which was cool. I saw Kristin & Andrea and we chatted/high fived which was super fun. The last 3 miles were tough back up the causeway and that damn hill. The entire run, after the first 2 miles, I'd been passing people but at this point it was almost funny. I felt like I was the only one out there with any energy left and I kept picking up the pace. The last couple of miles I think I was running 9 min/miles. Awesome. Saw Smoak headed out on the course and didn't envy her one bit. I started to get all choked up when I got back to the parking lots but then I couldn't really breathe and had to distract myself.

Suddenly I was STARVING and realized I needed fuel pronto. I kept moving. Saw the guy in front of me stop to stretch out his hamstring. When I past him I said, "Come on, we're so close you don't even need that leg!". The next guy I said, "Oh God, we're just soooo close!" and he laughed and said I looked strong and good job, etc. I kept passing everyone and was back to transition. I was literally rolling in on fumes. Was just soooooo ready to eat/drink SOMEthing! One of the volunteers hollered that the finish line was at the Ferris wheel so I just focused on that and gunned it! Every spectator I smiled at and said something like, "Where's the food?!" and that got me cheers and laughs. And then... there it was! What a finish line!  Unfortunately the jumbo tron was showing the pros so I didn't get my face up there... but I did see my dad and husband (Oren was sleeping) and ran it in as the announcer said my name. Soooooo very cool. Soooo happy to be done.

What would you do differently?:

Nothing. Oh, SUNSCREEN. I did so well with sunscreen all year and just got burn to a crisp this weekend. Its now Wednesday and I'm still in pain. My temporary Greyhound tattoo and my race numbers are burnt into my shoulders. So embarassed.

Mission Accomplished

Post race

Warm down:

Floated through the volunteers and grabbed water, my finisher shirt, got my chip off and passed on the space blanket. I was tanked and for awhile wondered if I was ok. Saw my Dad and Tom and gave them my fuel belt/bottle and said I needed food pronto. My dad was all choked up (he's never seen me do a tri!) but I couldn't hardly talk I was so wobbly. First thing I grabbed was a bottle of the muscle milk stuff they had chilled and I literally chugged the whole thing. And then I really thought I was going to hurl. As soon as I thought I was ok I went and got food and then just collapsed in a heap of happy exhaustion at one of the tables. Euphoria.

Celebrating the Milestones

Miles Run Today: 1.5

I very clearly remember the first time I ran ten miles.  I was less than a year out of college and living in downtown Chicago right off of Lakeshore Drive.  I woke up early to run because it was hot and muggy and wanted to get in the double digit run as part of my spring training for my first half marathon (the Indianapolis Mini Marathon which I did with my mom).  This was also the spring I started dating my future husband, which makes it just over ten years ago.

Wow.

Back to the run.  I ran in the early morning sun up and down the lake shore.  It was hot but peaceful.  There were many other runners out but we were all running our own paces and I was alone.  I rarely run with music so it was just me and my thoughts.  When I was done, I celebrated and cooled down by taking off my socks and shoes and wading right into Lake Michigan to swim (I lived off the Ohio Street Beach).  It was amazing and refreshing and I was done with TEN MILES before I normally would have even gotten out of bed (it was a Saturday).  Then I walked home dripping wet and smiled at the doorman like I was up to something.  That was a great, great run.  Probably one of my favorites.

Monday I ran three miles.  And it felt a lot harder, in some respects.  First of all, it was a lot harder to find a half hour to run!  I had originally planned to do the run on Saturday evening.  It had been extremely hot and muggy all day so I thought I'd run after Oren went to bed.  By the time I got out, there was a severe thunderstorm watch for the entire area and black clouds looming.  I love thunderstorms and the radar made the storm look further away so I took off.  However, as I ran my first mile, I became increasingly nervous about the lightening.  I took a few shortcuts and as I neared my house actually cut through some yards to stay close to houses and not out in the open.  I was more than a bit freaked by the time I jumped back through my door to warm down.  The run was probably just short of two miles but on the other hand, probably my fastest run this summer!

On Labor Day I woke up tired but determined to get my three miles done.  Thankfully, it was cool outside.  Instead of taking a nap, when Oren fell asleep for his nap I changed clothes and headed straight out the door.  It wasn't nearly as peaceful or enjoyable a run as that ten miler had been.  I was a touch overdressed and I'm very clearly still out of shape.  My hips still feel very loose and I really have to focus on my posture.  But I got it done.  I didn't wear a watch or a GPS, but I know the course and it was three miles.

So there!  Check mark.  And I'm happy to have gotten back to three.  My 5k is in a week an a half so that's when I'll officially meet my first distance goal.  Between now and then, I'll start planning what I'm going to wear for the race... oh, and keep on running.

Choosing The Race

One of the many things I think about while out running is which "big" race to train for next.  My goals for next year include running a marathon and that is the race that currently has my "dream big" wheels turning.  There are always a lot of issues to consider when picking a race, but since having kids that list of issues has only gotten bigger and more complex.  Here are some of my criteria:

1. There are people who aim to run a marathon in all 50 states so they can join the 50 States Marathon Club.  My husband (also a marathoner) and I realized a while back that neither of us would likely ever join that club so we (very) jokingly set out a goal to do the 50 between the two of us.  We have a map downstairs with push pins to keep track of our big races and specifically our marathons.  He's completed six marathons and I've done one, the Detroit Marathon here in Michigan.  (Sidenote: I was extremely irritated with him when he chose to do his third or fourth marathon in Michigan also... it pretty much cancels out my ONE contribution!  Of course, he also did DC so that didn't help us much, either.)  So ideally, my next race will be somewhere other than Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, DC, or Tennessee.

2. I honestly don't see myself training for a lot of marathons.  If I could just go out and run one, that'd be one thing- but the training is an enormous commitment and last time I ended up injured three weeks before the race.  That kind of let down is emotionally crushing.  So, if I'm going to put in all that time then I want my race to be a party.  None of these one hundred runners gathered in a field with a stop watch type of deals for me... I want balloons, bands, spectators, a tear-jerking finish line and a massive spread of food and drink at the post race area (beer is a big bonus).   I will include my desire for a nice race shirt and impressive medal here.

3.  I've got family and friends all over the country who I almost never get to see, so if I'm going to travel to a race, I really love to combine it with seeing someone while I'm there.  Ideally, I'd get to stay with that person and then not need to pay for hotel, etc.  But that's not the biggest deal- I just like to be able to combine a race with quality time to make it feel like I'm getting a lot of bang for my buck.  I've combined family/friends with a race in DC (actually, my husband was racing there), Florida, Texas, Wisconsin, Illinois, and a bunch in Indiana (where my parents live).

4. Now, with little ones in tow, I'm torn over searching for a family friendly race or finding a location I can get in and out to with little fuss and thus make traveling alone quick and easy.  Undecided on this one.  Mara will be just under a year so I may or may not still be nursing.  This is a big question mark.

5. Weather- I don't like hot.  Not at all.

6. Geography- I love mountains, but not so much to run up.

I think that's my list, unless I think of some more on my next run.  Keeping in mind a May-June time frame what races would you suggest?  What criteria goes on your list when choosing an event?

Making Progress

I'm three-fourths of the way through my first month back to athlete status and (as of tomorrow) eight weeks post-partum.  I think I'm doing remarkably well getting out for my runs.  I've run three times a week for three weeks, not missing a single run.  As my former triathlon coach or my husband would tell you, that is pretty great for me.  I'm usually really quick to find an excuse (see sidebar for starters) and skip a run for later or next time.  With all my imagined "coaches" out there cheering me on, it feels much less attractive to skip.  It is also much easier to get out the door when I'm "only" running a mile or two.  What is ten or twenty minutes?

Another major incentive is just getting a shower!  If my husband is home, I get his blessing for running and a shower afterwards while he entertains & juggles the two kids.  If he isn't home, I take Mara to the YMCA and get a run and a shower while the very capable Y child care staff watch my daughter.  She's at a really great age for this.  She still doesn't have an established schedule to mess up, she has basically no opinion on where she spends her time or (for the most part) who she spends it with (especially if whoever that is doesn't put her down), and she's still little enough that the ladies at the Y basically fight over her, making my departure to run almost entirely guilt free!  Because I use so little of my alloted two hours of child care, I can then take as long as I'd like in the shower!

So, reviewing the goals, I have been running three times a week (check), am well on my way to 5k distance by the end of the month (check), and am so far enjoying it (check) am injury free (check), and have been going to the Y with Mara regularly (check).  I still have only attempted Yoga with Mara once (boo) and I tried doing my stretch/strengthening workout with Oren for the first time on Saturday (more!).  These are very, very tricky as they depend on me coordinating with the totally unpredictable moods of my kiddos.  I'll work more on it though!  Oren trying to do leg lifts and balance exercises was hilarious!  Photos next time, I promise.

And the big news... I've registered for a 5k road race!  The Run Wild for the Zoo race that starts and ends outside the Detroit Zoo, one of our favorite places to go with the family.  I like the thought of supporting such a great organization and love the thought of hanging out with my cheerleaders afterwards.  Logistically, it was a good pick in that I already know how to get there so there will be no race morning stress with directions or parking.  As I've mentioned, it will also be easy to incorporate my family into the race morning if they choose to do so.  As the time gets nearer, I will just have to coordinate with Mara on whether she'll be eating before/after at the zoo or be having a bottle and I'll have to pump somewhere.  Training and racing is a bit more tricky when nursing.

Next up?  As I finish the next week of my first month back and the following couple of runs up to my race, I will be considering other races.  We've gotten leaflets for two different Halloween runs on different weekends.  We also want to do the downtown Detroit Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving.  The big question in my mind is my future marathon.  Which race?  I look forward to presenting my thoughts on that one soon.

Why I Run

My husband is in the UK and I'm on my own* with two little kids. (*with a LOT of help from family & my moms club friends).  He left Saturday so Friday morning was rough.  I have discovered that usually the last day before he hits the road is the worst for me with Oren (and now Mara).  I think emotionally I want to prove that I "can't" do it in a last ditch effort to get my husband not to leave.  It is irrational, but my guess as to why this pattern seems to hold for us.  That and Friday was the last day in a long, rough week.  Oren has been acting out and my husband has been working a lot, leaving me very little time to recharge.  For some reason I was also trying to get away without taking naps... bad move.  Friday morning I lost it.

Thankfully, I was assertive enough to ask for an afternoon off.  After all three of us napped and hubby finished up a bunch of work, I handed over the baby and a bottle, suited up and headed out for a run on a real trail.  It was a long, rush hour traffic filled drive there but I was so happy to be out of the house.  For a moment I felt guilty for leaving my husband with both kids during their toughest part of the day but then... I snapped out of it.  I was so ecstatic to be out and headed for a run that it didn't even phase me when there was a huge car accident snarling traffic between my car and the trail... I just channeled Marge (our Garmin navigator) and recalculated myself there.

Ahh..... and within seconds I was in the shade of green leaves, crunching along on the trail with no one in sight and no sounds other than the ones I was making as I ran.  It was PERFECT.  I was so thrilled to be out in the woods that I relaxed instantly.  I wasn't watching myself, but if I'd been able to I imagine I would've seen my posture straighten and my shoulders relax.  I probably would have also seen myself start to smile.

I didn't recall where the mile markers were, but ran to where I thought might be a mile before turning around to run back.  Towards the end I started to wonder whether I would need to start walking a bit.  I was starting to tire and also getting warm.  Still trying to be careful with myself I thought maybe I'd pushed too far.  And then... I saw her.  A graceful doe nibbling on the greens just off the side of the trail.  She lifted her head and stared at me.  I stopped to walk and watched her.  I walked to within ten feet of her and was able to offer a "Hi there, beautiful!" before she launched back off into the cover of the foliage.

Can I just point out that I was less than a half mile from a four lane, major thoroughfare?  This folks, is not only why I run but also one of the ways I experience Grace.  And oh, did I need the Grace.  It was the end of a unremarkable (otherwise) two mile jog but there it was... God looked me in the face and told me "Jaclyn, I love you and you are going to be ok".

At least, that was my translation, and I'm sticking with it.

I followed this wonderful run (and I did run it back in) with a stop at Starbucks (the other diety in my life) for some iced chai and a treat and connected with a dear friend on the drive back home.

Really... just perfect.

Working Out With Kids - The Dream

To keep you all updated, I have run four times and each time my body has felt incrementally more comfortable back on the road.  This morning I ran a mile and a quarter and hope to find time to do a mile and a half on Friday.  I am still working towards a 5k in the next couple of weeks.  And living vicariously through my friends and former teammates as they finish up their summer race seasons.  Last year at this time... (no, we don't need to go there today).

So far the biggest challenge with running is just getting dressed and out the door.  Mara is very fussy in the evenings so for my last two runs my husband helped me get the run done in the mid-morning between his conference calls and his departure for work downtown.  This helped enormously since I wasn't nearly as beat down before starting the run.  By evenings I'm ready to call it a night but still have hours of rocking and bouncing ahead of me so running wasn't nearly as attractive.  Getting a shower earlier in the day has been a nice side bonus to running early.  I've only attempted this on days when Oren is away at school, my so called "easy" days.  I'm not sure I'll be so lucky this weekend.

Even more challenging, my husband will be out of the country for work next week.  Everything will feel a lot more difficult but getting out for a run will be nearly impossible... if not for the fabulous Farmington Hills YMCA.  I love our YMCA and one of the bonuses we discovered post-Oren is that they have free child care for up to two hours (FREE!  Who does child care for FREE?!).  Children have to be over six weeks old.  I haven't taken Oren much because he doesn't really like to be left there.  I'm going to start taking him anyway though and hopefully he'll warm up to it.  Before attempting to re-introduce Oren though, I will take Mara for the first time next week.  I can do my run and (bonus!) get a shower!  Looking forward to those short little "survival" breaks.  I hope Mara treats the Y staff well.

I attempted Baby Om yoga this week but we only got through the first one and a half poses before Mara was wailing.  She is just NOT a fan of being put down- any time, any where.  I'm working with her on this.  Hopefully we can get further the next time we try.  I think I need to run through the sequence of poses a few times on my own though.  When we tried it the first time I had to spend a lot of time going back and forth between her position, my position and the book's guidelines.  It was tricky and not very practical, much less relaxing.  Still, a worthwhile goal for quality time with her awake.

I still need to work my strength & stretching exercises in to rebuild my hips and knees.  This morning I decided I should find time to do them with Oren.  I'm sure he'd have a very fun reaction and take on working out with me.  I might try to see what kind of fun strengthening activities I can find on the dusty Wii Fit too.  He loves that balance board and we have barely used it.  I will have to find a time when Mara is either sleeping soundly or hanging out calmly but Oren is still awake and happy.  This will be a challenge!

Finally, in my grand scheme of athlete mommy ideas- I would really like to run the Detroit Turkey Trot this year with all four of us.  My husband and I ran it and had a blast but have never run it with the kiddos.  We have a single BOB jogging stroller and Tom would go and run with Oren this year if he can.  I think it would be a lot more fun to borrow a double or another single jogging stroller and run with all four of us. We'll see if we can make it work.  We're not currently planning to buy a double as it is enough work just running with Oren.  But for races, it would be great to have the option for both of us to get to run together as it is really something we both enjoy (and hope our kids will in the future)!

All these plans, now it is a matter of finding the determination and creativity to fit them in!

Keeping it Up

So far, I've run two MILES folks.  That's a whole lot more than I ran last month, or the month before (when I was still PREGNANT), or in any of the previous eight months.  In fact, I haven't run a mile (or even a block) since last Halloween, which happens to also be the day we officially found out I was pregnant.  We were already signed up to race the Run Thru Hell on Halloween race and it just happened to also be the day I decided to wake up, take a pregnancy test, and announce the results to Tom.  I like to mess with him a little every once in awhile... I'm not sure he was awake for more than five minutes before he was trying to decide if it was Halloween or April Fool's Day.

Anyway, we ran the race dressed up with Oren in the BOB jogging stroller thinking about how in a year we might need a double BOB.  And then I didn't run again until this week.  It wasn't that I didn't believe I could run while pregnant (I ran until I was over five months pregnant with Oren).  Nope, it was just that finding out for real that I was pregnant shredded the last ounce of my motivation after my September half ironman triathlon.  I mean really, I was about to get gigantic again... what's the point?

Truthfully, the point is that I should have kept moving to keep myself and babe #2 healthier, less stressed out, and on the way to a quicker, more smooth labor and recovery.  That's what I did the first time (back when I tried to follow all the pregnancy advice I could find).  I had devoured internet research and the book Exercising Through Your Pregnancy to learn all the benefits of maintaining a high level of fitness during a normal, healthy pregnancy.  This time around though, I was a) burnt out from my race and b) DEAD TIRED.  I mean, Mara just killed me.  I could. not. move.  This was the first time I suspected I might be having a girl instead of a boy, by the way... but then chalked it up to the differences in each pregnancy.  Anyway, I could barely keep up with Oren and Mika (our hyper active dog) so exercise did not happen.  Once I got some energy back I was totally uninterested, so I just stopped thinking about it.

The result?  I was definitely more uncomfortable in the third trimester but have no idea if that was because I didn't work out or because it was my second pregnancy or because I was two years older or because I was having a girl (in retrospect... we didn't actually find out the baby's gender) or... or... or...  I also failed both the one hour and three hour glucose tolerance tests and was asked to maintain a low carb/low sugar diet and check my blood sugar four times a day.  I worked through a lot of guilt over that one... thinking I'd brought in on myself by slacking.  Honestly though, I have a family tree full of diabetics and it is likely that between my predisposition and the normal wacky pregnancy hormones, working out might not have changed the results.  Thankfully I still had a small baby (Mara was seven pounds ten ounces, Oren was seven pounds thirteen- everyone in my family was over eight pounds), an early delivery (Mara was ten days early, Oren was seven), and had an easier delivery than with Oren (labored for over twenty hours with two hours of pushing for Oren and only seven hours with 30 minutes of pushing for Mara... we barely made it to the birth center on time!)... I've also already shed most of my pregnancy weight- only five pounds to go (which was quicker than the first time around, thanks to running around after a 32 pound toddler and nursing a growing infant).  All of these were benefits of working out while pregnant that are promised by the above research.  So I don't feel like I've shot myself in the foot too painfully.  It does mean that I do need to get back to my normal healthy lifestyle now.

And I'm plugging away.  The second run was pretty much like the first.  My favorite sports bra, made by Moving Comfort, is keeping the goods very secure which was a relief.  The brand new shoes are like running on pillows after a summer in flip flops (and I love the new color scheme!).  I did wear my watch again last night but haven't yet charged the Garmin.  Mostly, I'm glad to leave the kids behind for a few minutes and stretch out my knotted up muscles.  That part of training I have missed a lot and my legs were so happy when I finally fell asleep last night.

For those of you who have kids- did you train through pregnancy?  How long into your pregnancy did you train?  What did you do?  How do you feel it effected you, your baby, and the delivery?  Guys-  did you manage to keep up your training before and after your babies were born?  (Tom didn't do quite as well this time around but that has a lot to do with his job).  Please share!

Go!

"Before" Project Iron Mommy 8/10/11

It wasn't the run that I had planned, but I did get out the door and run a mile (ish) last night.  It was a really beautiful evening for a run; low temperatures, a little breeze and a lot of sunshine.  The second we got Oren to sleep, I took a sleeping Mara out of the baby carrier and quietly handed her to Tom.  I then threw on my running clothes and my new shoes (they arrived at 6:00 p.m. and I ran at 7:30 p.m., how is that for timing?) and headed straight out the door.  Tom had a lot of work left to do which erased my plans to head to a trail and instead I just ran in our neighborhood.  It was not nearly as nice to my legs as the trail would had been, but it was certainly familiar.

And a little hard.  Well, maybe not "hard" as much as really stiff.  I left my watch and GPS at home and did not worry about pace or distance but I was ok with just sticking to the neighborhood.  It felt good to be moving but it also felt good to be done.  I hate to admit how sore my quads are today- they are so out of shape if one mile has left such an imprint a day later!

Mara is just six weeks old today and I ran a mile yesterday.  For that, I'm quite proud.  As I keep telling myself when I'm up to my ears in two screaming little people, "It will only get easier".  That applies here, too.  I fit the run in and kept my legs moving.  I returned to the chaotic evening and screaming baby, wolfed down my dinner and didn't get a shower.  But, I ran.  Every project needs a solid start and I've officially taken those first steps.  Cheers!

Get Set...!

This is the week I start working out again.  I haven't addressed how specifically that is going to happen (what with the nursing every two hours and the two kids and the traveling hubby...) but I am starting to get my tool kit ready.

Running Shoes - Ordered my new Asics GT 2160s in bright orange and blue from Zappos.com today.

Nursing - Dusted off my Medela Pump in Style and filled my first bottle last night.  Necessary evil.

Incentive of the week - Bought a brand new dark teal Champion tank top at Target today.

There's nothing worse than your running clothes being too small so I took the precaution of buying a large and I will avoid even trying on my old stuff until I feel better about my body shape.  I had been feeling fairly okay to good about quickly I've returned to "normal" this summer.  That feeling lasted until this Saturday when I was trying to find some clothing to wear for our family photo.  Ugh.  Nothing I have been wearing since giving birth gets above "sweat pants" level on the dressy scale.  I tried on a pile of clothing hoping I could make something work but it was all too tight.   I learned two lessons during this process:

1. When you've lost all your baby weight the first time around but are still considering getting pregnant again- do not let that body confidence move you to get rid of all your larger clothing!  Keep it around in a box or something.  That way, when you get pregnant again and return to post-partum marshmallow shape, you'll have something left to wear without having to go shopping.

2.  Do not wait until the last minute to buy new clothing for a special occasion.  The result- massive stress, disheartening lack of possibilities, and a return home from shopping with nothing but chocolate- is not pretty.

My shopping frustration on Saturday was definitely compounded by the fact that all the stores have just switched to fall wardrobes and there was approximately NADA left for summer outfits.  It was just an awful experience and I came home completely miserable and then took it out on my dear husband.  Whoops.  Needless to say when I woke up I magically found something that would work (a non-maternity shirt that I'd worn through most of my pregnancy so managed to stretch out a bit and a denim skirt that has always been a bit loose... though not anymore).  The positive of this lesson is that I now have even more incentive to get out there and move this week.

Month 1 Goals:
a) Take it easy- This may seem ironic considering I am starting to work out from a level of total slothy-ness (for my standards, anyway).  In fact, taking it easy will be critical to avoid great disappointment.  Reality is that I did just give birth six weeks ago and am still recovering.  Another reality is that my breasts are very much full and tender (read: not super comfy when bouncing).  Finally- I haven't run or swum in well over eight months!  I know I'm going to feel like going right out and running five miles but this first month my goal will be to slowly work back up to a 5k (3.1 miles).

b) Make it fun- It is hard for me to believe that I completed a half ironman distance triathlon less than a year ago, but it is true!  After the race, I had absolutely NO desire to run or swim at all.  I think at this point I'm ready to go again, but I'm still going to aim to make my work outs seem more like play and relaxation than training.  My first run I'm hoping to drive up to one of my favorite trails even though I'll only be shooting to run a mile.  Normally this would be too far to go for such a short run, but it will be nice to be back out in the trees and my legs will appreciate not starting back on concrete right away.  Hopefully this will help me maintain my interest.

c)  Re-build- I'm totally out of shape.  I don't want to get injured.  In order to complement my running and swimming at this point I'm going to supplement with some yoga & stretching.  I got a cute book from a friend called Baby Om that lays out three levels of yoga I can do with Mara.  Should be interesting!  I'm also going to dig out my stretches and strengthening moves I got from a Physical Therapist when I was having ITB issues last spring.  One reason I had issues is from changes in my hip/pelvic structure from childbirth.  I expect to have the same issues this time around, better to prevent!

I think I'm ready to tackle this beast!  I'm hoping to get out for my run Wednesday evening, watch for an update!