Why I Run

My husband is in the UK and I'm on my own* with two little kids. (*with a LOT of help from family & my moms club friends).  He left Saturday so Friday morning was rough.  I have discovered that usually the last day before he hits the road is the worst for me with Oren (and now Mara).  I think emotionally I want to prove that I "can't" do it in a last ditch effort to get my husband not to leave.  It is irrational, but my guess as to why this pattern seems to hold for us.  That and Friday was the last day in a long, rough week.  Oren has been acting out and my husband has been working a lot, leaving me very little time to recharge.  For some reason I was also trying to get away without taking naps... bad move.  Friday morning I lost it.

Thankfully, I was assertive enough to ask for an afternoon off.  After all three of us napped and hubby finished up a bunch of work, I handed over the baby and a bottle, suited up and headed out for a run on a real trail.  It was a long, rush hour traffic filled drive there but I was so happy to be out of the house.  For a moment I felt guilty for leaving my husband with both kids during their toughest part of the day but then... I snapped out of it.  I was so ecstatic to be out and headed for a run that it didn't even phase me when there was a huge car accident snarling traffic between my car and the trail... I just channeled Marge (our Garmin navigator) and recalculated myself there.

Ahh..... and within seconds I was in the shade of green leaves, crunching along on the trail with no one in sight and no sounds other than the ones I was making as I ran.  It was PERFECT.  I was so thrilled to be out in the woods that I relaxed instantly.  I wasn't watching myself, but if I'd been able to I imagine I would've seen my posture straighten and my shoulders relax.  I probably would have also seen myself start to smile.

I didn't recall where the mile markers were, but ran to where I thought might be a mile before turning around to run back.  Towards the end I started to wonder whether I would need to start walking a bit.  I was starting to tire and also getting warm.  Still trying to be careful with myself I thought maybe I'd pushed too far.  And then... I saw her.  A graceful doe nibbling on the greens just off the side of the trail.  She lifted her head and stared at me.  I stopped to walk and watched her.  I walked to within ten feet of her and was able to offer a "Hi there, beautiful!" before she launched back off into the cover of the foliage.

Can I just point out that I was less than a half mile from a four lane, major thoroughfare?  This folks, is not only why I run but also one of the ways I experience Grace.  And oh, did I need the Grace.  It was the end of a unremarkable (otherwise) two mile jog but there it was... God looked me in the face and told me "Jaclyn, I love you and you are going to be ok".

At least, that was my translation, and I'm sticking with it.

I followed this wonderful run (and I did run it back in) with a stop at Starbucks (the other diety in my life) for some iced chai and a treat and connected with a dear friend on the drive back home.

Really... just perfect.