Inspiration Everywhere

My daughter Mara has been a better night time sleeper than my son was at this age, but that disappeared this weekend.  We're not sure if it was her cold or the fact that she's starting to roll or that she has almost figured out how to suck on a finger or thumb (yet to be determined which one) and is instead poking herself in the eyes and nose.  Maybe it was all of that or perhaps she was just bored.  Who knows what the problem was but she was waking up much more often and by yesterday afternoon I was completely exhausted.  When my chance to run came I was totally uninterested.  I hadn't showered in three days and desperately wanted another chance at a nap.  Add to that the fact that it was the run I was supposed to practice pushing Oren and it was very windy outside- not a good time to be pushing anything much less a jogging stroller that acts as a giant wind scoop.  But after only minimal nudging from my encouraging husband I sucked it up and changed clothing.  It was beautiful outside so at least I had that incentive.

But then- my training buddy bailed on me!  I tried to get him upstairs to put shoes and a jacket on so we could go but NO dice.  Let's go running!  Running with Mommy?  Please?  NO!  How demoralizing that after two years of not showing the kid any TV, yesterday I lost out to Thomas the Train Engine.  Granted, he was watching from his daddy's lap and it is still a new treat but still.  Talk about Wind Out Of Sails.

Sigh.

It took me a long time to get into the run- as previously pointed out I was tired but now I was also a touch bitter at Thomas (the train, not my husband who happens to share the name).  As I headed out into the wind I was feeling very discouraged.  It was the first time in this cycle of training that I felt those nasty seeds of doubt begin to grow in the back of my mind.  Several friends of mine were out running marathons and half marathons yesterday.  How could I really get back there if heading out for a few miles was taking this much work?  How am I going to find time for those really, really long runs next spring?  Do I really think my knees are going to hold up for a full marathon and what is the point of trying if they won't?

I was only going to run a mile or so with my son but since I was on my own I decided to run three miles.  Thankfully, it was really, really beautiful outside despite the gusty wind.  By the time I got a mile into the run I pushed myself to do the hilly (but even prettier) route instead of the flatter (but relatively boring) route.  Luckily the wind was blowing at my back on the way home and by the time I rounded the corner on the homestretch I realized that I was a) setting a nice pace b) not thinking about running and c) happy.

And then my dear girl fought going to bed but slept like a rock and I finally felt recharged this morning.  We had a very fun morning getting her photo taken.  When I came home there was a fantastic surprise- a gift from a dear friend of a "Full of Awesome" T-shirt!  (see several posts below if that phrase doesn't ring a bell).  How Cool!  Ms. D, you have no idea how well you timed that.  I can't wait to wear my new shirt to bed and wake up to nurse my daughter with "FULL OF AWESOME" across my chest.  And to think that though we haven't spoken in months or seen each other in (choke) years, she knew exactly what would make me smile.  Not only that, but the sweet card enclosed with the gift noted that she found ME inspiring!  Melting.... and with that, my heart soared and Mara and I zoomed around the neighborhood with the dog thinking and being inspired...

... by my great-grandmother (Mary) and grandmother (Marion) who bowled regularly into their eighties (I'm sure my Grandma could still kick my butt on the lanes, too!).

... by my mom (Linda Marie) who started running at fifty something and at almost sixty something is still grooving and a triathlete!  (Mara is named after these three inspiring women, so she enjoyed hearing about that).

... by my neighbor who takes off running with her two girls and when I cheered her on simply shrugged and said, "How else am I going to get it in?".

... by my rockstar friend Kelly who just finished yet another marathon in memory of her mom.

... by my friend Jaclyn who is running mega miles in spite of having seriously screwed up feet and ankles (and two little boys).

... by my sister in law who is caring for two little ones under 18 months old (a 3 month old and a 16 month old, yikes!) while my brother is out to sea as a U.S. Coast Guard Officer for three months (he left when my nephew was only three weeks old)!

and most of all by the thought of my little boy and girl growing up with a healthy, active, athletic mommy who can set high, scary goals for herself and manage to set aside time and find spare energy to work on them.

I've got to keep going!